What I Know & Don’t

August 23, 2016

Lots of folks have blogs.

There are millions of opinions on the Internet, and everyone thinks they are right.

My experiences and choices — both good and bad — have provided some perspective that has worked surprisingly well, with tremendously positive impact in my life.

Normally, I would quietly give thanks for the blessing and not tell others about my revelations because I don’t want sound like a “know-it-all.”

I also realize that everyone’s circumstances are different and wonder if anyone else would find value in what I think anyway (worldviews are incredibly difficult to impact).

But others have encouraged me, even prodded me, to share what I’ve learned. I suppose that’s because they see I’m genuinely happy after overcoming what they think (and I thought) would be an insurmountable happiness drain: paralysis.

At the funeral of a friend, a former girlfriend’s brother who took his own life, I was witnessing his family’s tears and cry-worn faces and regretting not getting together with him for that beer we always said we were going to meet for. Close to tears myself, I thought maybe I could have helped him see that things were not as bad as they can seem. But just as I thought I was probably overestimating my ability to bring some positive influence to his life, one of his sisters hugged me tight and said, “Too bad he couldn’t have talked to you first, Fritz.”

Those words have “haunted” me ever since. Although complimentary, they make me feel I need to do more. To take the risk of failing as I try to share the perspective that I truly believe is a gift.

If my efforts to share what I’ve learned can help just one other family avoid the intense pain I saw and heard that day, it will be worth ruffling a few feathers and being rejected by some (maybe by many) because the concepts challenge many traditional notions that unwittingly enable the victim mentality.

Key to the fact that I’m even happier now than before I broke my neck is my eventual recognition of the victim mentality, its sources, its components, its prevalence, and its immensely destructive effects.

I will unpack that here at Not A Victim by trying to present positive perspectives on sometimes difficult topics. And I’ll try to share what I’ve learned without sounding like a know-it-all, because though I’ve been blessed and see some unsettling truths that may take time to reveal and may be difficult to accept, I don’t know it all.

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