There are four components to what I call “victimism” (which is basically the victim mentality): (i) comparing, (ii) fairness obsession, (iii) blaming, and (iv) finding comfort in woundedness.
We humans all compare ourselves to other humans. To some degree, we can’t help but compare; it’s part of our social nature. But we can certainly choose who we compare ourselves to.
If we choose to compare with people who we think have more, it’s easy to feel that things are not “fair,” and it’s easy to feel a little bit envious.
But if we choose to compare with people who have less, we begin to see that life is a lot more fair for us than it is for millions, even billions, of people around the world. And then the reasons for being obsessed with fairness (or “unfairness”), for blaming, and for feeling wounded start to dissipate rather quickly.
The choice is entirely ours.